The beginning …….

It has never been easy for me to turn around and leave … just like that …just leave … never been able to do that… always had the last minute pull to stay, to restore, to comfort, the maddeningly foolish belief that ‘everything will ultimately work out right’ … that i was not looking at it properly, that if only i could do things differently, things would be OK.

well, i am not calling myself foolish … that would be even more foolish 🙂 but the realisation is that underneath all those thoughts and feelings, did lay one thing, that is my belief that i could do anything under the sun and that (this is even more hilarious) i was strong. and who does not know that strong people stay strong, no matter what.

so, i went through life being strong. when i was a child and was being beaten up for little nothings by my aunt and my cousin and her husband, and being humiliated by any and everybody under the sun, i told myself (or so i believed!) that i was “too strong” to be touched by any of these people.

i also think i was so blase about my body – did it get hurt? did not matter. did anybody comment upon it unkindly? did not matter. did anyone touch it with indignity? did not matter. i mean how much more blase could one be?

the ambiance in the households i grew up were such madhouse. i, among many other such, parent less or one parent kid would just be around …. to be called for food on time, and then let loose … in the house, somewhere. the adults will be busy playing cards and winning or losing money … from ten in the morning to eight in the evening.

such freedom within so much captivity …. both experienced together … days got over before one could blink …. people would come and go … people would stay and leave the next day … the houses looked more like railway station than anything else. nothing belonged to any one, more so, no one belonged to anyone.

I live in Bangalore, India, and by profession, I am CEO of a consulting organization, an Organization Consultant and an Executive Coach. I write because I like writing my thoughts and reflections for me to review my life and the life as I see around myself. However, sometimes it makes sense to convey my thoughts to others and connect with others. Maybe it strikes a chord; may be it does not. My life has been my most outstanding teacher, which is why I like sharing my experiences, memories, encounters and other narratives that I build as I go along. I am interested in people, society, culture, ways of life, individual and collective narratives/stories as they lead us to discover each other as nothing else does. I also write about coaching, people's lives, culture, stories, mothering my daughter, believing in a feminine way of life, and most of all, believe that all politics starts from the self and personal convictions

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s