the man just called. and he has been calling some 10 to 12 times a day …. the whole purpose of the call today was to tell me that he is a biggie shot in society and that therefore he should not be called names by me …. I did not know whether i should laugh or to get angry. in fact i should not even call him a man …in order to be a man, a person has to be a ‘man’ …. you know the kind who has self respect and sense of dignity …just like another ‘woman’ will have … and it is less to do with gender identity … it is more to do with dignity and self respect. anyway, so here i was holding on the cellphone almost 6 inches away from my face, on a loudspeaker mode, when he kept on telling me how all of this divorce stuff is useless and how i
Author: Sarbari
Running Myself Down with Guilt and Shame
the days have been hard! there is not a single day and a single moment when i do not think about the divorce case and whether whatever i am doing is the right thing or the wrong thing. on one hand i have known this person for the last thirty years – i have literally grown from a teenager to a middle aged woman in this relationship. and on the other hand, how impossible the situation is for me to stay in this marriage. I know it is hard for anyone to go through divorce when it has not been initiated from his/her end. I also know how scary and how traumatic it is for anyone who goes through this; ask me about it. But, every day when i ask myself whether this was necessary, there are counter questions that come back to me and they are “how would you then like to live your life? in fear? in disgust?
Sarbari's Blog 