Just finished breakfast with one Continental and one Balinese choice. Slept well last night after a gruelling and humid afternoon walk. The hotel guests around us are from Europe, Asian and may be even American or Australian – difficult to make out unless one talks to people. No one seemed interested in getting to know others, just like any other place in large hotels and restaurants around the world. I tried to imagine myself sitting alone in a different country and in a place like this. Was not a very pleasant idea. But then I am the product of the sixties and seventies Kolkata, Bengal, India. The sense of kinship bothered and made us feel safe at the same time. We are living in a different world now. This brings me to an interesting discussion that I had with my historian daughter during breakfast. We have seeing individuals (specially white) searching for spirituality in Bali through rituals and yoga and
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Growing up and living with feminine beings!
I grew up in Kolkata in the 60s and 70s, i.e. as a child and as a teenager stepping into youth. I grew up with the same middle class values like all others, went through similar experiences like all others, i.e. similar pangs of first crush, first rejection, worries and anxieties about future, dreams and wishes about life in general …. Life, then, took it’s own turn for me and I went with the flow or rather was washed away by the storm and held onto straws for survival. Survive I did, rather well I must say, and went onto living a fulfilling life from many aspects. What also happened during this period is that without my conscious understanding, I ended up swallowing the perfect patriarchal model of “man” and “woman”, though I did view myself as a rebel and a high achiever. What I did not notice was that internally I judged myself and everyone else through the same
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