Growing up and living with feminine beings!


I grew up in Kolkata in the 60s and 70s, i.e. as a child and as a teenager stepping into youth. I grew up with the same middle class values like all others, went through similar experiences like all others, i.e. similar pangs of first crush, first rejection, worries and anxieties about future, dreams and wishes about life in general …. Life, then, took it’s own turn for me and I went with the flow or rather was washed away by the storm and held onto straws for survival. Survive I did, rather well I must say, and went onto living a fulfilling life from many aspects. What also happened during this period is that without my conscious understanding, I ended up swallowing the perfect patriarchal model of “man” and “woman”, though I did view myself as a rebel and a high achiever. What I did not notice was that internally I judged myself and everyone else through the same

read more Growing up and living with feminine beings!

What Lies Beneath!


What I am going to write today is something I have never attempted before, not even in my personal diary.  It came up in a conversation this morning with my partner who suggested that I should write about my experience of my mother’s death.  He believes that something significant is locked there.  Hence this attempt to unlock. My mother was only 29 years old when she died.  I lost her when I was three years old.  In fact, she celebrated my third birthday in August of 1961 by buying me red shoes (I remember because a friend in the building asked me to stand on top of cinders on the same day and I could not wear my lovely red shoes on my birthday), and I remember her crying about my burnt feet. She passed away three months later in November, on the same day.  She died suddenly, unprepared, trying to have an abortion all by herself because she did

read more What Lies Beneath!