the days have been hard! there is not a single day and a single moment when i do not think about the divorce case and whether whatever i am doing is the right thing or the wrong thing. on one hand i have known this person for the last thirty years – i have literally grown from a teenager to a middle aged woman in this relationship. and on the other hand, how impossible the situation is for me to stay in this marriage. I know it is hard for anyone to go through divorce when it has not been initiated from his/her end. I also know how scary and how traumatic it is for anyone who goes through this; ask me about it. But, every day when i ask myself whether this was necessary, there are counter questions that come back to me and they are “how would you then like to live your life? in fear? in disgust?
No Name
The beginning …….
It has never been easy for me to turn around and leave … just like that …just leave … never been able to do that… always had the last minute pull to stay, to restore, to comfort, the maddeningly foolish belief that ‘everything will ultimately work out right’ … that i was not looking at it properly, that if only i could do things differently, things would be OK. well, i am not calling myself foolish … that would be even more foolish 🙂 but the realisation is that underneath all those thoughts and feelings, did lay one thing, that is my belief that i could do anything under the sun and that (this is even more hilarious) i was strong. and who does not know that strong people stay strong, no matter what. so, i went through life being strong. when i was a child and was being beaten up for little nothings by my aunt and my cousin
Sarbari's Blog 