Author: Sarbari

>the bipolarity of static masculine and dynamic feminine


  Reposting ing something from 2009.   Hmmm … all the good things that i experienced over the last two weeks went out of the window in the last four days. i was on an emotional roller coaster, hardly having any control over my rawness, ended up having meaningless fights and arguments and loathed myself the most. there were some moments when i just wanted to die … notwithstanding my need to dramatise my life. but some insights and resolutions … first the insights: I have been reading this book “Masculine and Feminine” and it talks about the two types of masculinity and femininity and the interplay between static and dynamic. one such bipolarity is between static masculine and dynamic feminine. in simple terms, people who are more towards this pole negatively, are torn between being rigid, opinionated, vocal, intrusive, dictatorial, idealistic, etc, etc on one hand, and between being reckless, impulsive, histrionic, rebellious, self loathing, drowning on self pity,

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>finding a friend inside you is actually a good thing !! i am now having more dialogues inside my head and sorting out things there rather than excitedly telling A or some other people about it and then starting the whole spiral of analysis, arguments, counter arguments, blaming, accusations and counter accusations ….. what a spiral. now when i feel that the head is buzzing too strongly and people sitting around me can hear them, i walk about, get a glass of water, think of a song, visualise nice things …. actually feel more empowered within myself by doing all these … it helps me get a grip on my bitterness, my caustic criticisms and contempt of others, my disapproval, my disappointments and my hurt feelings. OK, the down side is that the dialogue or monologue becomes lengthier and sometimes, i have to ask “who is it who is talking just now”; scary, sounds like i am going mad? nah,

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