change

>the bipolarity of static masculine and dynamic feminine


  Reposting ing something from 2009.   Hmmm … all the good things that i experienced over the last two weeks went out of the window in the last four days. i was on an emotional roller coaster, hardly having any control over my rawness, ended up having meaningless fights and arguments and loathed myself the most. there were some moments when i just wanted to die … notwithstanding my need to dramatise my life. but some insights and resolutions … first the insights: I have been reading this book “Masculine and Feminine” and it talks about the two types of masculinity and femininity and the interplay between static and dynamic. one such bipolarity is between static masculine and dynamic feminine. in simple terms, people who are more towards this pole negatively, are torn between being rigid, opinionated, vocal, intrusive, dictatorial, idealistic, etc, etc on one hand, and between being reckless, impulsive, histrionic, rebellious, self loathing, drowning on self pity,

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>disconnecting – Loss and fear of it


>Death … such an ominous word. most are scared of it, it is unknown, full of fantasy and visions. so much has been written, talked about, discoursed with …. i have been with this word for a while. ever since my divorce proceedings started actually. Divorce, as per dictionary meaning is -to separate; cut off -a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part -total separation; disunion -to break the marriage contract between oneself and (one’s spouse) synonyms are dissociate, divide, disconnect, split, disjoin …. i experienced “real” death for the first time in my divorce proceedings. I have experienced many many physical death before but the experience of what death actually feels like was like a bullet that gets lodged. It was not simply dissolving the marriage between two people. I was initiating the processing of discontinuing the history of 30 years between two people that was held in a certain way. the disjointing of relationships tween

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