>Have been feeling low, down and out for several days. When I look at how I feel, there are several so called reasons for it, feeling unloved, undesired, low on confidence, lack of hope, lack of direction, lack of purpose and the whole host of it. After moping for several days i am feeling more enraged and irritated towards myself. One thought that keeps coming to me is that if I were to face a person who was like who I am at the present moment, what would I have felt towards him or her? one single answer that comes is : “CONTEMPT” in capital letters. I would have felt contemptuous, helpless, angry, tired and irritable. This constant whining would have got at me faster than it is hitting others. I think A has been quite patient and sweet with me, he is coping with whatever i am dishing out to him with grit and hidden resignation and may be
self worth
Rant and Confusion
the man just called. and he has been calling some 10 to 12 times a day …. the whole purpose of the call today was to tell me that he is a biggie shot in society and that therefore he should not be called names by me …. I did not know whether i should laugh or to get angry. in fact i should not even call him a man …in order to be a man, a person has to be a ‘man’ …. you know the kind who has self respect and sense of dignity …just like another ‘woman’ will have … and it is less to do with gender identity … it is more to do with dignity and self respect. anyway, so here i was holding on the cellphone almost 6 inches away from my face, on a loudspeaker mode, when he kept on telling me how all of this divorce stuff is useless and how i
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